About Vivette & her blog

Vivette on board The Kestrel

Setting our mums free

My thoughts and experiences over the 20 years I have parented have developed into strong opinions and ideas about why Mum’s are encouraged in New Zealand, and largely the Western World, to return to work as soon as possible following the birth of their babies; we’ve bought into some real nonsense.  I’d like to help turn that around. 

I think women need to stop buying into the lies they’re told about needing to work and believe once again, that being at home with their children, whether aged six months or 15 years of age, is vital to the wellbeing of society in general.  On a more personal level, it takes a mind shift from investing in a mortgage and materialism, to getting to know and understand your own children and making them your number one priority.  Isn’t that called responsibility?  Isn’t that called selflessness?  Isn’t that just good old fashioned parenting?

Don’t get me wrong though… I can feel some people scourning my plea already.  Women need to feel fulfilled – there is a place in our lives for education and work, and certainly in some ways we don’t want to turn back time to 1950s prejudice or have the burning bras all over again!   But more on that later.

Give your kids the best… not the left overs

I am a Mum to three awesome boys.  My eldest is almost 20, which means I was only 20 years old myself (now 40) when I ‘crashed’ into the fearsome and wonderful world of motherhood.  Our other darling boys are aged eight and 10.  While I’ve balanced being a single parent for eight years, then marriage, working full and part time, tertiary study, and everything else that comes with life, I’ve always had a strong sense that my boys really need me, and I really need them.  I’ve stayed at home for years at a time but  I’ve also made the mistake of putting my six month old into full-time daycare so I could work to pay our mortgage.  It’s not about daycares and how they operate… whether they’re any good or not (although it’s essential to do your research)… it’s about our babies and children missing out on deeply connecting with their mums.  I resigned from a wonderful but exhausting media consultant job because I recognised I was losing touch with my children and now – again – am enjoying going on school camps, watching performances and using my talents in roles that suit MY schedule.

So, I’m a writer, journalist, columnist, public relations consultant, campaign manager, student… and hey I didn’t get there by staying at home.  But I did get there by learning to balance carefully those precious hours with my children so they get the best of me, not the left overs. 

Join me on this journey and I think you’ll discover being a mum and/or wife at home, is one of the nicest places for us… at least until they’ve flown the coop.

From one Mum to another